So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
