if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
