just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize