Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
