guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
