The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
