Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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