I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize