I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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