finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
