Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it's like iHOP with fire
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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