When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
