Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
