bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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