I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
