I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
