There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
