Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize