i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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