I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
