His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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