I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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