Your face is a jimmy john
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
