just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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