I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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