yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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