READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
