Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
