oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize