Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Less talking, more tequila
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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