at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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