Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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