Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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