Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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