she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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