I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
