You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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