ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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