Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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