uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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