i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
