your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
