after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
