Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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