I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
