so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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