Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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