I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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