I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will be naked everywhere
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
