if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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