I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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