Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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