There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
