apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
