So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize