You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
