Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
