party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This house was built for laser tag.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have aggressive nipples.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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