i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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