so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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